with apologies to my father, who may or may not be reading this

so, on friday after work me and some ladies went to mcdonald's (we walked, which means the calories totally don't count). afterwards, keen-eyed Gal A spotted a sex toy shop on the third floor of a building nearby. lacking anything better to do, Gal B and i accompanied her up the treacherous stairs and down the hall (past a rival english academy. that's right, porn and ESL learners happily share a mailing address!) to the shop.

which was staffed by...a man who was seventy years old if he was a day. his gray hair was in an immaculate old man pompadour, and he was wearing what appeared to be an addias track suit. picture grandpa crossed with tony soprano.

i cannot stop thinking about this man. i am dying to know how his life's journey came to a room full of vibrators. is he a free-loving hep cat, who wants us all to be having better sex? did he inherit the business from family? win it in a poker game? is he judging his customers while taking their money? was he minding the shop for a sick friend or relation? how the heck did he end up there? hooooooooow? how?