the first and second ammendments

let me begin by saying that i may never forgive the media for making me re-think my stance on gun owners. i do not like being wrong.

also, i do not like guns. i think guns are terrible, awful things. guns are the only things in the world that exsist solely to take life. sure, you can kill someone with a knife, but you can also slice bread or spread peanut butter. can't slice bread with a gun. i guess you could make some fairly leaden bread crumbs, but that's another story.

i've, like every other person with a television and eyes, been watching the controversy over the islamic center in new york unfold. and i don't understand the big deal. the first ammendment says that everyone has the right to practice the religion they choose. so, you know, case closed.

which got me thinking about the second ammendment. which says that people can own guns. i don't really care for this ammendment. i like the ammendments that let me vote and make my classmates not slaves, but i just don't think people need guns. oh, if only that were how the constitution worked!

plus, if we're being honest, it's not really the guns i have trouble with. i don't like the people who like guns. in my mind, people who like guns are this guy or these guys .

here's what i've come to understand: i don't have to like gun owners. don't have to invite them into my house or meet them for drinks or swap bread crumb recipies. but i do have to respect that the constitution gives them the right to buy guns and sell guns and keep guns in their homes. and the people who want to buy guns and sell guns and keep guns in their homes are only asking to do something the constitution promises them the right to do.

you don't have to like what a person does, and you don't have to like what a person believes, but until someone shoots up a school or crashes a plane, he isn't a criminal. he isn't evil, and he isn't out to destroy your way of life. he's just doing what the single greatest document ever written affords him the right to do.

nostalgia

i'm going home soon, which has me thinking about all of the things i like at home.

i grew up in a dry county - no cold beer, liquor store closes at ten, last call is midnight. i hear vague rumors that my county is getting less dry, but i'll believe it when i see it. when i was little, sometimes on a sunday, my dad and i would drive out to the crossroads in his old beater truck to get a six pack of cold PBR (for him) and a grape slush puppie (for me). those are, honestly, some of the very happiest memories of my life.

the last time i was home my dad and i went out to columbus, the next town over, for some sunday beers. on our way we passed the latest addition to the crossroads: The Pony. the pony may be the skeeviest strip club ever. outside the pony is a huge metal statue of (natch) a pony. with a raging boner. the pony boner. a poner, if you will. during the daytime hours, the poner is covered with a neon pink thong. imagine that being your job: time to go put the thong on the poner, steve!

that, in a nutshell, is small town mississippi. if you're laughing, then you understand why i miss it.

what i love #3 - procrastination

and i'm not just saying that because right now i'm at work not working. i truly, deeply love procrastinating. i love the feeling of knowing whatever i am doing is not the wisest, most sensible choice. i remember, in university, the feeling that would overtake me the night before a final exam, of being equal parts so very deeply screwed and so excited about organizing my huge collection of magazines (#4 - magazines).

right now i should be editing the kindy monthly objectives for my school. but i am blogging. awesome.

right here, right now

i wish that all of you reading this, all of you who aren't in korea anyway, could experience just five minutes of living in a world cup-crazed country perched on the brink of war. because, when the air raid siren goes off, small soccer-mad children just run around screaming "vuvuzela!" makes it kind of hard to be terrified.

what i love #2 - candy

because nothing goes with diet coke quite like candy. except for popcorn, pizza, hambugers, and everything i do during my day. there's a reason diet coke is number one.

tonight i went to costco, and i bought another giant tub of jelly beans. don't worry, i still have most of them. in honor of the fact that my heart most likely pumps hugh fructose corn syrup, i present a list of my favorite candies.

1. hot tamales - number one with a bullet. i once ate three pounds of them in a single sitting. on a day that i wasn't sad. once on a day that i was sad, i ate so many the inside of my mouth started bleeding.

2. nerds

3. everlasting gobstoppers - much like "the neverending story," it's a delicious treat wrapped in a lie.

4. sprees

5. cadburry creme eggs - last easter i made my then-boyfriend drive me to like six different stores buying them up. what i love 3# - hoarding!

party in the usa

last night i was out dancing for a friend's birthday (many happy returns, annabelle!) and one of the songs that came on was "party in the usa" by miley cyrus. not only is this just a plain, old bad song, it's the kind of bad song that drunken twenty-somethings don't really want to dance to at 2am.

the song created kind of an awkward lull in the bar, where we all just sort of looked at each other and sobered up a little bit. it gave me a chance to listen to the lyrics. (which you can go find on your own, since i am not wasting my newly accquired mad linking skillz to direct you to a miley cyrus video. i have standards.)

anyhoo, if you don't know the song, miley name-checks jay-z.

i don't know jay-z. i don't know what kind of music he likes to listen to. but i feel like maybe, just maybe, he really doesn't enjoy being name-checked by miley cyrus. additionally, i feel like it's the sort of thing beyonce might throw in his face if they were having a tiff. about whatever it is that hip-hop royalty has tiffs about. not making reservations at nobu? i'm drawing a blank.

jay-z: i thought you were calling nobu!
beyonce: i thought YOU were calling nobu!
jay-z: you always do this!
beyonce: party in the usa, asshole.

what i love #1 - diet coke

i am stealing the idea for this blog from my good friend william, who freely admits that he borrowed it from someone else. this will not stop william from being mad at me for stealing his idea, but i think it's a good idea. and i like making lists of things.

(ps: can we totally high-five me for learning how to link to things on my blog? up high!)



i love diet coke. i believe that i could give up eating meat, or cheese, or even jelly beans sooner than i could give up diet coke.

i used to not like diet coke. at all. back when i was an office worker in university, there was a fridge full of carbonated beverages, and i could have one whenever i wanted. a month of having a coke whenever i wanted led to some fairly serious clothing-zipping issues, and i basically just talked myself into liking diet coke as a way of making my jeans fit again.

i would take a diet coke out of the mini-fridge, and, before i opened it, say to myself, diet coke is soooo delicious! eventually i came to believe it. now if i'm stuck with regular coke or coke zero (which i will drink in a pinch, since carbonated brown sugar water is the gas that makes my engine go) i feel like i'm drinking cough syrup. which is also something i enjoy, for sure. just not during a movie.

(i have tried and failed to talk myself into liking other things, most notably flossing and the stairmaster. though maybe i just wasn't trying so hard those times.)